Many of you as students, teachers, and parents will be wondering something you never thought you would - what to do if there is a shooter in the school. I know that the teachers and staff of McKee would exhibit the same bravery and courage shown by the teachers at Sandy Hook who saved dozens of children's lives that day.
The families of the young children and the adults who lost their lives on Friday are in my thoughts and I hope they find peace this holiday season.
The following information for adults and for parents has been downloaded for the National Association of School Psychologists website:
For Parents:
1. Focus
on your children over the week following the tragedy. Tell them you
love them and everything will be okay. Try to help them understand what
has happened, keeping in mind their developmental level.
2. Make
time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not talk to your
children about this incident someone else will. Take some time and
determine what you wish to say.
3. Stay
close to your children. Your physical presence will reassure them and
give you the opportunity to monitor their reaction. Many children will
want actual physical contact. Give plenty of hugs. Let them sit close
to you, and make sure to take extra time at bedtime to cuddle and to
reassure them that they are loved and safe.
4. Limit
your child’s television viewing of these events. If they must watch,
watch with them for a brief time; then turn the set off. Don’t sit
mesmerized re-watching the same events over and over again.
5. Maintain
a “normal” routine. To the extent possible stick to your family’s
normal routine for dinner, homework, chores, bedtime, etc., but don’t be
inflexible. Children may have a hard time concentrating on schoolwork
or falling asleep at night.
6. Spend
extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children before
bed. These activities are calming, foster a sense of closeness and
security, and reinforce a sense of normalcy. Spend more time tucking
them in. Let them sleep with a light on if they ask for it.
7. Safeguard
your children’s physical health. Stress can take a physical toll on
children as well as adults. Make sure your children get appropriate
sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
For Adults:
Model calm and
control because children take their emotional cues from the significant
adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or frightened.
1. Reassure
children that they are safe and (if true) so are the other important
adults in their lives. Depending on the situation, point out factors
that help insure their immediate safety and that of their community.
2. Remind
them that trustworthy people are in charge. Explain that the
government emergency workers, police, firefighters, doctors, and the
military are helping people who are hurt and are working to ensure that
no further tragedies occur.
3. Let
children know that it is okay to feel upset. Explain that all feelings
are okay when a tragedy like this occurs. Let children talk about
their feelings and help put them into perspective. Even anger is okay,
but children may need help and patience from adults to assist them in
expressing these feelings appropriately.
4. Observe
children’s emotional state. Depending on their age, children may not
express their concerns verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite, and
sleep patterns can also indicate a child’s level of grief, anxiety or
discomfort. Children will express their emotions differently. There is
no right or wrong way to feel or express grief.
5. Look
for children at greater risk. Children who have had a past traumatic
experience or personal loss, suffer from depression or other mental
illness, or with special needs may be at greater risk for severe
reactions than others. Be particularly observant for those who may be
at risk of suicide. Seek the help of mental health professional if you
are at all concerned.
6. Tell
children the truth. Don’t try to pretend the event has not occurred or
that it is not serious. Children are smart. They will be more worried
if they think you are too afraid to tell them what is happening.
7. Stick
to the facts. Don’t embellish or speculate about what has happened and
what might happen. Don’t dwell on the scale or scope of the tragedy,
particularly with young children.
8. Keep
your explanations developmentally appropriate. Early elementary
school children need brief, simple information that should be balanced
with reassurances that the daily structures of their lives will not
change. Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more
vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what is
being done at their school. They may need assistance separating reality
from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students will have
strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence and threats to
safety in schools and society. They will share concrete suggestions
about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society.
They will be more committed to doing something to help the victims and
affected community. For all children, encourage them to verbalize their
thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!
9. Monitor
your own stress level. Don’t ignore your own feelings of anxiety,
grief, and anger. Talking to friends, family members, religious leaders,
and mental health counselors can help. It is okay to let your children
know that you are sad, but that you believe things will get better. You
will be better able to support your children if you can express your own
emotions in a productive manner. Get appropriate sleep, nutrition, and
exercise.
As the President has said, I'm sure you are all hugging your children extra tight lately and will continue to. Take care of yourselves and your families.
-Ms. Miller
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